Cocktails 4 oz peach vodka
2 oz pineapple juice
2 oz orange juice
1 oz fresh lemon juice
2 oz 7-Up® soda
2 tsp sugar
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There were these three
brothers that were
very close to each other. The brothers always went to a
local bar on
every Friday at 5:30 on the dot.
When the brothers
got married they all got married to their wifes to be
on the same
day and at the same place.
When the brothers moved away from
each other to go on with their lives
with their new wife, they all
promised each other that they would still
go to the bar every friday
at 5:30 and drink for each other.
On the first Friday that the
brothers were separated, the first brother
went to a local bar and
ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the
first glass the took
one sip from the second glass then from the third.
He did this
until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and
went home.
This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally
asked
why he did that. The guy explained about the promise th
at he had with his
brothers. The bartender said that he thought
that was a very good
promise to keep with each other.
One day
the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer.
The
bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully
sorry about your brother."
The guy not knowing anything about
what the bartender was talking about
said "What happened to him?" The
bartender said that when he only
ordered two drinks instead of
three he thought that something awful had
happened.
The brother
then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just
decided to
give up alcohol."
Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath.
Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before.
Boy: Yes,
but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot
water!
A man is flying in a hot air balloon
and
realizes he is lost. He reduces
his altitude and spots a man down
below. He lowers the balloon further
and shouts: "Excuse me, can you
tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot
air balloon, hovering 30
feet
above this field."
"You
must work in Technical Support," says the balloonist.
"I do,"
replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well" says the balloonist,
"everything you have told me is
technically
correct, but
completely useless."
The man below says: "You must be in
management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you
know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where
you're
going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're still in the
same
position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know. H. L. Mencken
A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. Chinese Proverb