Cocktails 120 ml vodka
20 ml gin
60 ml Champagne
50 ml soda water
25 ml orange juice (with pulp)
20 ml lemon juice
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"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
What did the egg say to the
boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute
ago."
An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor:
"This
dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did
you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and
the guide told me that the dinosaur is
two billion years old."
A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project. Abigail Van Buren
A friend is a gift you give yourself. Robert Louis Stevenson
A human being is only interesting if he's in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it. Barbra Streisand