Liqueurs 1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 1/4 cups apple juice
1 tsp real vanilla extract
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp ground allspice
1/2 tsp dried, chopped orange peel
1 cup white brandy
1/2 cup 100 proof vodka
Start
people
pronouns
other
hello
Subcategories::
Two shoe salespeople were
sent to Africa
to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one
salesperson
called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next
flight.
Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the
other salesperson sent an email to the factory,
telling "The
prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
Jesus and Satan got into an
argument over
which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally
God got
tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a
contest
between them. They each had four hours to write the best program
they could, and then God would decide the winner.
Well, they both
got right down to business, and wrote lines and lines
and lines of
code. But just before the four hours were up there was a
flash of
lightning and a tremendous clap of thunder. The lights
flickered, the
power faltered, and both computer screens went dead.
When power
was restored, God declared that time was up and asked to see
the
results of their work. Jesus flipped on his computer and displayed
the most elegant program you could imagine, with beautiful architecture
and wonderful syllogisms, triumphs of multimedia sound and pictures
--
all kinds of bells and whistles.
God asked Satan wha
t he had created, but Satan said, "I've got
nothing, absolutely
nothing. My program was twice as good as that, but I lost
it all
when the power went out. Jesus must have cheated. How could he
still
have such a great program?"
God replied, "Everybody knows --
Jesus Saves."
Customer: "Why didn't you tell me I have
call waiting?"
Tech Support: "Sir, we have no way of knowing if you
have call
waiting."
Customer: "Well, you should ask everybody!"
Tech Support: "Do you have call waiting?"
Customer: "What's
that?"
Hello seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the New Age, because there's a seeker born every minute. Firesign Theatre