Shots & Shooters 1/3 oz Midori® melon liqueur
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1/3 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
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Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it
reached a
comfortable
cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
captain speaking.
Welcome to
Flight number 293, non-stop from New
York to Los Angeles. The weather
ahead is good and therefore we
should have a smooth flight, Now sit
back
and relax. - OH MY
GOD!"
Silence
Then, the captain came back on the intercom and
said: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier,
but while I was
talking
the flight attendant brought me a cup
of coffee and spilled the hot
coffee
in my lap. You should see
the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach said: "That's
nothing. He should see the back of
mine!"
There were these three
brothers that were
very close to each other. The brothers always went to a
local bar on
every Friday at 5:30 on the dot.
When the brothers
got married they all got married to their wifes to be
on the same
day and at the same place.
When the brothers moved away from
each other to go on with their lives
with their new wife, they all
promised each other that they would still
go to the bar every friday
at 5:30 and drink for each other.
On the first Friday that the
brothers were separated, the first brother
went to a local bar and
ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the
first glass the took
one sip from the second glass then from the third.
He did this
until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and
went home.
This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally
asked
why he did that. The guy explained about the promise th
at he had with his
brothers. The bartender said that he thought
that was a very good
promise to keep with each other.
One day
the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer.
The
bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully
sorry about your brother."
The guy not knowing anything about
what the bartender was talking about
said "What happened to him?" The
bartender said that when he only
ordered two drinks instead of
three he thought that something awful had
happened.
The brother
then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just
decided to
give up alcohol."
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know. H. L. Mencken
A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. Chinese Proverb